Langit tak selalunye cerah tapi mendung bukan untuk selamanye ;’)

Hye people. Don’t feel confused with the title. Even it seems a lil hyperbola, but it often happen to us.  I don’t  recommend you people to read this entry. Its nothing worth your time.

Langit saya xcerah baru2 nie. Something happen and i feel a lil distracted with this kind of feeling. Its a mix feeling. Sad, frustrated, tired, confused. Im sad, but i dont  want to cry. Im frustrated but i can’t get mad. Im tired but i cant let go. Im confused but i cant think anymore.

The world seems to move really slowly. It hurts at some point when i think beyond the reality.  In fact, i don’t even know what the reality is. The feelings start to become bitter. And all i feel is bitterness. I don’t know how long can i keep being like this. How long can i endure it. i’ll try my best though, but i am still a human. Im afraid if i cant help it anymore, i will leave and move on.  

I don’t want to talk about it to anyone. But when i keep it inside, it will hurt much more. ‘makan dalam’ hehe. Im not going to be possessive about anything anymore. Keep my expectation low. The less you expect, the less it hurt. I wont dream about it anymore. I will keep it real. Because im scared. Im too afraid that if i keep dreaming about the future i’ve planned all this while, i will become crazy if it doesn’t happened. There’s so much possibilities in it.

The people are right. The world is much more bigger than i think it is. There are more people than i expect. And i don’t have to live in my own world alone. i have friendssss and bestfriends. They are part of my world here. I will not change for someone else. I’ve done enough all this time. I wont do it anymore. I feel like a dumbass . truly stupid.

But i believe that, the thing will eventually become better. Langit xkan selamenye mendung kan. I will have my part of happiness . i’ll keep it real this time ;’)

p/s;  i will enjoy myself here with everyone i want . because i don’t want to waste my youth anymore. I wont stay the same. The old me is rather hopeless. You either can accept this or let go ;)