Friday, 13 January 2012

Trust vs Love -_-

by : miss violet

dah 2 , 3 ari xupdate blog. xtaw kenape. kemalasan yang keterlaluan disitu. cube try nyanyi lagu LAZY SONG siket. awak2 sume akan lebeyh memahami kemalasan saye ini. haha. okeyh. xnak merepek lagy. entry nie sebenarnye lebeyh kepada personal life saye. dan sejujurnye, saye xharap awak2 sume bace entry kali nie. amaran tentang entry kali nie ialah entry ni akan menjadi sangat keterlaluan panjangnye dan boleyh menyebabkan migrain serta merta bagi mereka2 yang xtahan dengan ayat2 romantis dan jiwang. haha. okeyh. WARNING SENT~

okeyh, based on the title of this entry , i will write about TRUST in my own perspective and based on my own experience. TRUST is putting your confidence in someone, forming a bond with him or her and knowing that you can rely on them for anything.**urban dictionary.hehe**

Trust for me is really a big deal. especially in my relationship. okeyh , let's talk about the past a bit :P

he is really the first person i love. even though it is only a crush. the feeling of being loved by him cant be described by words. years, i've been waited. being with someone else, doesnt get me to forget him. not even closer. i dont know how he felt about me. and i know that he will have million reason not to like me. but it didnt bother me. because i have hope, faith and trust in my love towards him. i hope that someday , he will be able to love me as well. i have faith that he is the one made perfectly for me. and i trust that one fine day, he will open his heart for me. yeah , and those 3 things brought me closer to him. not as a lover but as a friend. a close friend, that he will text every single day . from a friend, i have become someone special to him. until the day he propose me to be his girl. yup, its a bless. a real bless for me. its a joy to me. finally be able to be with him, saying i love u out loud , walk with him in public and being the only girl he loves. but i am not a witch dat can change people behaviour with a magic wand. i dont have that ability within me. as his girl, im getting jealous everyday with him, being provoke by his annoying friends. every single day i felt like im letting go of all this heartaches. it hurts. it does hurt me so much until i can barely look at him anymore. my heart getting colder. and i started to forgot how much i love him. and i thought that the best solution of this illness is to let go. but again. i dont have a gut to say gudbye. when he said sorry and blablabla**its secret okeyh :p ** the ice in my heart started to melt and i realized that i couldnt be happy if i let the one i love so much left. u must wonder why i talked about all this silly thingy when i am supposed to talk about trust. okeyh . here is when the problem arise. he has become a gud boy now. being all loyal to me and our relationship. im amazing rite. i have change a player into a loyal lover. haha. but thats not the point i want to highlight. the point is, i have stop trusting him. from the moment he broke it, trust is the hardest thing to do now. i get upset easily. i got jealous without a reason. im mad at him for crap. yar , i have change a lot because of what happened in the past. the truth is, i am afraid of getting hurt. bleeding heart is fatal now. i cant compromise with those aches again. so i train myself to be selfish. self-conquered i guess. i dont want to share him with anyone else. not even his smile. sometimes i even hate my own self to be such a person like this.

bace kisah di atas? haha. its a short essay. i wonder laa sape nak bace citer panjang2 tu kan. but that is the true story why trust is so hard to earn and yet so easy to break. saye suke sngt quote nie:
Trust is like a paper once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again
 it so trueeee~ nak iron kertas tu balek kalau da renyok susa kan. xkan jadik macam asal. paling malang sekali kalau kertas tu hangus ~ teehee~ tapi saye sedar yang saye perlu percaye kat orang yang saya syg. sebab tnpe kepercayaan, relationship is rather useless. so saye akan mencube sedaye upaya saye untuk mule mempercayai orang yang saye sayang. im back at the first step. hope, faith and trust~
 sebab saye ade satu mimpi . saye nak dye jadi seorang yang halal bagi saye, seorang suami, seorang kekasih yang setia bersame saye hingge kisah saye sampai ke noktah terakhir. 

when im older, and my daughter asked who my first love was, i dont want to have to pull the old photo album. i want to be able to point across the room and say ' he is sitting right over there' .

 saye tahu nie sume sangat awal untuk saye katakan. tapi saye sgt berharap hbgn kami kekal seperti yg kami rancangkan. sejujurnye , saye bercinte dgn dye bukan sekadar suke2, tapi saye mengharap sesuatu yang lebih dari itu. cinte sampai syurge? hehe. 

uwaaaa~ panjangnye entry untuk kali nie. frankly speaking , ehm2. saye xharap awak2 sume bace bebelan saye kali nie. cukop la dye sudi luangkan mase tgk entry nie. haha. poyo sangat kan kali nie. haihh. sebab demam kot. tu yang jadik extra annoying nie :P

specially made for him mase mule2 bercinte :PP

P/S :
  1. sori entry kali nie panjang
  2. sori grammar saye tunnggang langgang
  3. sori kalau awak2 geli geleman bace kisah cinte saye
  4. sori saye speaking macam pandai
  5. tapi kalau awak2 xsuke , awak2 sume boleyh GTF .ehm2. **Go To Facebook** ;3

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